on the road again

Got out in the muggy heat for a little spin to a cool mtn spring last night. Legs were unmotivated and sluggish as expected, started turning over nicely though about an hour in. Rolling into Mt Holly, sitting on the white line as usual, with a "shoulder" of about 8 inches. A residential type area, posted limit is 35mph, line of sight is clear enough to see up the road.

And some douche in a red F-150 decides he needs to pass me right here, right now. I guess he was late getting to the 24hr WalMart or something. Thing is, there's also some chick coming from the other direction in some sort of VW Golf. We're not at a blind corner or anything, he could see her coming. And as he squeezes by me, he ends up crowding her out of her lane, she dips some wheels off into the gravel/grass and lays on the horn. I'm thinking, what a fucking douche! (But at least he didn't take me out.)

I take a moment to digest it all, then flip the dude off as he rolls on up to the stoplight which just came into sight. And which is now red. No immediate response from the guy, but I'm pretty sure he saw the gesture. I continue to just sit and spin, watching this tard sit in line at the red light he so urgently needed to get to. Rolling along, still red. Rolling closer, still red. Time to either start scripting what I'm gonna say to this asshat, or maybe I should just roll thru the redlight and forget about it. Well, I get to within about 100yds when the light turns green. The car in front is turning left, so he's hung up trying to turn right and I get to about 100ft off his bumper when it clears and he starts to roll.

Now that he's moving, now that he isn't 'stuck', this is when the yellow bellied piece of shit flips me off in response. So I sit up, really flip him the bird, mouth a big F-YOU! and figure that's that. And now this fuckwad slows down, but doesn't stop, and begins waving me towards him out the window as he's driving thru the intersection away from me. This makes no sense to me.

If you have something to fucking say, or you think you wanna throw down or whatever, then pull your fucking small penis mobile over, shut off the motor and we'll have a conversation. Don't pull this tough guy routine as you drive away bullshit, you fucking pussy. And no, I'm not gonna chase you down on my bike just because you're taunting me, you're in a 3/4 ton weapon, I'm in lycra with a beer cooler on my head.

Of course, I'm sitting here doing the whole rant on the interweb tough guy routine, so what does that say? But still.....it pisses me off. Someday I'd love to grab one of these worthless, out of shape piles of flatulance by a roll of their fat greasey necks and have a chat.....

Do you have any kids? yeah?
Well, do they a have a bike?
You know, to ride around the neighborhood?
Maybe to the park or school or to deliver papers or something?
Or are you grooming them to grow up to be a fat slob like yourself?

Oh, so your boy does have a bike?

Well, how would you like it if I was driving through your neighborhood and pulled the old brushback maneuver on your son? You know, just a little scrub, to let 'em know who really owns the road. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, if it was your son getting run off the road? How would you like that?

Then what makes you think that it's cool to do it to me?



Fxdwhl said...

Same story, different blog, a hundred times. I doubt it will ever change. Had my own close one this morning too in the rain, got tailgated/drafted casue I was tired of almost getting kissed by mirrors. Fuck'em and keep spinning.

Anonymous said...

And in some other universe, some guy has a blog named runthembikersoverwithmybigtruck.blogspot.com and is talking about a run in with some skinny bike rider type in spandex!

Anonymous said...

That fuckwad. Luv your prose, Tomi baby! jill

Barry said...

Gives me flashback to that time you and I were like 12 and we were riding down that road from Winterstown and we shoot the finger at that guy in the brown van...dude stops and gets outta the truck...tough guy gonna rumble with two 12 year olds...I turned and sprinted away.

So few of them get out of the truck anymore, now that I have hit puberty and all :)

Skippy said...

Speaking from experience, let him make the first move. Years ago, some old fart ran me and Old Man Withers off Trindle Road just a bit east of Mechbg. He's yelling across the seat past his wife through the passenger window, telling us to "get the hell off the road." One of us made the appropriate #1 gesture and followed up with the verbal version of same. Old Fart slams on the brakes, turns right and parks across the shoulder. I fend off fenders and the mirror but keep it upright. In my youthful rage I fling my bike into the front yard and in full view of plenty of (I learned later) his friends and neighbors, popped him square in the face and knocked him on his fat ass. I think I tore his tshirt off him when he fell. He got up, made a few swings at me and it dissolved into a shouting and cussing match. Long story short, I ended up spending about $900 for an attorney and going through the ARD (Advanced Rehabilitative Disposition) program, wherein I promised to be good for 9 months and my record would be wiped clean. Old douchebag in the truck had to pay buttkiss and the cops were much less than helpful. Watch yer ass.

F-One-Shitty said...

you obveussle dont love freadum you faggety ass peace of SHIT!!!!!