uhmm, yum.

remember that little garden I started?

it was looking kinda ok.
now.....holy jeebus!



tough time of the year,
this push thru the heart of the season.
feeling the stress of the questions 
of whether I'm up to it.  Why subject
to the hard suffering ahead, if not really 
racing, do I even want to race if the 
situation calls for it?
Not really a focused appraoch this year, 
sorry for the recent grumpiness.
Off to see Jess, pick up some last minute
bits, then down to the workshop.  On the
freshly tuned skinny tires for a systems check.
Bump and chat with Old Man Withers on my 
way out, then up Cold Spring, quick pop quiz
on 40:15 fireroad climbing, passing grade, 
mind now somewhat more at ease.  

Curious what tomorrow brings.
this blog now written on a Mac,
cuz iI'm better than you


the push

the Tour,
it's here again.

reflecting on bailing.
was the right thing to
do, gut instinct. but now,
when again? understanding
the task, best to be fresh,
gonna need lots of daylight,
or willing to carry bigger light,
might have to give up the beer.....

I want to get this done this year.
so, try again, early August,
bit of post 101 rest with a buffer
before Shenandoah. When is that?

Or skip/volunteer Teeberry and
rest after Tahoe trip for a late Sept
assault. Get in some altitude training,
yeahhhhh....that's the ticket.

Work to the South from the gun on
that early August date, at least tag the
full loop south of 30, that's only 75ish,
then the northern portion if the day calls for it....

so, yeah, was back on it again Sunday.
fresh fork hacked down for old red,
Sunday break in spin. Head to the lakes,
late start, figure to catch the 'cakes when
they finish, figure 1-ish is fourish for the
9ish am start. No signs when I get there,
do a quick lap up&down B'ville, then up&down
again, and again. And while debating a fourth
lap, Rich thankfully appears. Merciful cold
adult beverage that I been hoping for,
a bit of chillin' and chattin' and rolling home, no
sign of the crew, thought I'd bump 'em along
the rail trail. Sounds like they had a nice ride.

Climbing B'ville 3 times with day 3 legs felt good.
Good reminder/recognition of the core power
that lurks. Gonna need that for the Tour.

Gonna need that.
Gotta write my intent.

Gotta figure out my intentions first,
could be some competition in the nutball
ss'er class this year.....

and is anybody even stepping up?

haven't seen any intentions posted anywhere.....

wonder if Ralph is happy to have
somebody to talk to again?


oh well.

that was humbling.
in short, I bailed.
coastiness undid me.
descending and working the rocks
w/ feet static at 3 & 9 o'clock
worked the achilles on the left leg.
noticed it on the second climb of
the day up Ridge Rd. also noticed
the flat legs, the lack of extra oomph
from the motor was setting me up
for a long day.

less than brilliant sensations. the visuals were stunning, sunrise while bobbing and weaving across Ridgetop, then misty valley spinning, warm climb up Ridge Rd into the sun, ignore those warning signs. Canyon Trail was a blast, morning valley scenery was sweet. Refill the water, out across Comm Service. Try to 'spin' up LogSled and work out the kinks. Left leg still annoying w/ every pedal stroke, don't know if it's something that I can just ride thru. Get worked pretty good across Fender and My Fave, the Secret trail down to Cliff was a blast, but that achilles is getting worked and talking back.

End up skipping Grave's and heading right on up the ATV/Finish climb to Big Flat. Rode that at slummy tempo, didn't walk at all, which beat expectations, keep motoring on. Over to Wildcat and plunge down the ruttedness. Big fun, good freewheeling focus, loose babyhead drifting, and painful lofty moves off all those little drops. Reach the bottom and my left leg feels totally blown. Turn right to pedal up to Abby and the sensations raise the bar from a nagging 2-3days strain/overuse recovery, to sharp sensations of "Hey! Hey dumbass! you're starting to look at not being 100% for le Tour." So, at 6hours elapsed, I hobbled off the bike, sat on a big rock, and threw in the towel. Cracked my beer, ate my turkey sandwich and stared at some clouds. Ran thru the options, all of the route alteration options, and they all began with "limp across Abby." Limp, cause I sure wasn't figuring to find any flow with 1 1/2 legs. Finally accepted that today wasn't the day. Took 20 odd minutes to enjoy my sandwich and beverage,and climbed back onto the bike. But instead of turning back for the road, instinct turns me up towards Abby. Just a couple pedal strokes to test it.....left leg feels somewhat bearable, wayyyy better than 25 minutes ago.

Up thru the switchbacks, lots of debate, and I finally opt out any notion of continuing. Thinking again of potential injury vs big picture, can also still hit some good trail vs having to bail onto the road.....swing a quick right onto the Horse Trail option, then spin up Birch Run. From here I can pick and choose the path home, real easy to bail to a shortish fireroad spin if needed. But, so long as the leg is willing, may as well finish with some trail. So, wrap up the day with the original planned finish sequence, fun session across 3mile, then back over to Lewis Rocks and Rattlesnake, finishing with a backtrack across Comm Service.

Final tally was only 62 miles, 9:30 elapsed, 7:50 rolling. The full route will easily go 100+. The south of 30 loop is 25ish, that makes 87. I bailed on Abby and the Drained Res, skip Yellow Hill from the original plan, and add Lollipop + Hanzel & Gretel instead of Birch Run, and I'm guessing there's an additional 15ish. Makes for a difficult day, need the A game, not the B- that I brought to it yesterday. I bailed at just over 40, 5hours rolling, 6hrs elapsed. Then another 25 to eat lunch. Too much downtime early, but lots of picture taking...need to roll it with the more consistent steady gunning, just get back to the car tempo that I finished with, only dropping 15ish minutes over those last three hours. 8mph avg is a good target for the terrain involved, sooo...12-13hours of ride time. ouch.

yeah, so that cherry remains to be picked. was a beautiful day regardless. pre dawn rolling the pedals rubber whir up thru the forest birdies beginning their chirp and a faint whipperwhil down below the campground. country roads truely country without midday 50mph traffic buzzing, sun warming, as you do up the second climb of the day and more filled in mtn valley cloud magic from atop the minor vista, inspiring a flowy session down thru the canyon. Magical time of day to be out on a bicycle.


the spirit.

doing more with less.
apply this to all portions of your life.
think about it.

that said, not camping on Friday.
'self supported' is the name of the game.
sleeping in my bed, will get up an extra
25 minutes early for the CR-Vizzle commute.

eliminates setting up a tent and renting a spot.
not doing a drop, carrying everything I think
I'll need. Take advantage of reliable water
stops along the way. if I want a beer, I'll carry it.
turkey sandwich, carry it.
chocolate covered pretzels,
bring 'em along.

no camp to tear down,
have some chips and drinks,
then back to town to celebrate.

simple enough.
easy enough.


EZ days following the Stoopid.
Resting, but not really tired.
Just taking a small break to
refill the tank, let the mind relax.

Gonna empty it again on Saturday.

Camping at Pine Grove Friday night.
Dawn patrol, pre-5am departure in
order to catch the sunrise from Piney Mtn.
Then hopefully be done riding before sunset.

Jabber is parked, Dos is tuned.
Gonna be coasting thru this one,
will be carrying a GPS gizmo,
so full data set should be avail
after the wknd.....

In the spirit of self support,
do I do a drop for myself,
(cooler w/ sandwiches, snacks
& a drink or two stashed along
the route)? Or just count on
only water refill at the parks &
carry a full load thru the day....

The route is in my mind, it's even been
drawn out and freehand distanced on
Google Earth. 90+ for sure, will it crack
the magic 100 mark?

Only one way to find out.


stoopid pics

what was stoopid fun, was racing thru this.laurel was booming.

Pennsyltucky valleys.


I dunno. Don't what to include here, what am I taking away from the Stoopid 50? I had a good day, a pretty damn good day. Had a plan and stuck to it. Rode within myself, but always on the rivet, keeping a close eye on the tachometer. Try to make up time anywhere possible, ie climbs and workable trail. Start was the usual, caboosing the lead group, then ejected on the long paved downslope. Drop wayyyyyyyy back into the main field. Shortish climb up Spruce Mtn Rd, hammer it, pass back an uncountable number of bodies, hammer it. Into the woods 30ish or so. Somewhat open gaps, considerate folks letting me by no problemo. Just keep working.

Mtn Laurel is blooming HUGE. Cicadas chirping out a mindnumbing, disorienting buzz. Was solid all day, even got to do some 'racing' here and there. Goal was to go sub 5 on the clock, hoping to sneak another top 5 in the one speeds, top 20 overall would be cool too. Problem is, it's mid-June, not early May like back at Meeshow. Everybody has their shit dialed now, those couple spots I need to gain thru attrition are getting tough to come by. Rough concept of where I'm sitting in the standings; I know at least 5 contenders up the trail Billy, Elk, Matt, Chad, Topher, Les and I'm sure 2 or 3 others that I'm unaware of....top 5 starts to look like a lofty goal. Concentrate on the clock. Give up ground, gain ground, give up ground, gain ground. 2nd aide station, there's Les enjoying a cold one.

Still in the hunt, be efficient, chug that Old Style, no time to be social. Systems check indicating go time, clock rolling towards 4 hours, time to seal the deal. In that special state of mind TT tempo ripping up thru Deer Tick, on it, just given 'er, leave it all out on the trail. And my rear tire starts going soft. Hit it with a CO2, sorta seals, roll. 10minutes and slamming in a second CO2. 10 more minutes, and I have 2 CO2's and two tubes left. If I hit it again, down to 1 CO2, not enough to fill a tube if third time isn't a charm. fuck. Off the bike, throw in a tube. Longest flat fix I've been thru in a while, a frustrating ten minutes as 6 folks pass me by.

Back on the bike right after Travisimo goes by. Fresh carrot to chase w/ renewed focus. Back onto it and settling in. Drawing on all the suffering I've absorbed so far this year, time to let some of it go. Finally reel in Travis, catching most of who passed me in the process. Keep looking up the trail, keep looking up the trail. nobody. "There's gotta be somebody just around the corner." Keep chasing. Keep chasing. Keep chasing. Finish climb, gotta be somebody around the corner. nope.

Final tally: 7th singlespeed, 22nd overall, 5:19 elapsed, oh so close. Les was 6th/20th with only a five minute gap. 10 minute flat change....five minute gap, damn. Feels like another step closer to slaying the 9hour beast.

Thanks to Chris and Jimbo and all the other behind the scenes folks that provided the arena, good times as always. And the Jabberfixy rocked as usual, other than losing that air.



got a minute?

read this:

Good evening, my fellow Americans.

First, I should like to express my gratitude to the radio and television networks for the opportunities they have given me over the years to bring reports and messages to our nation. My special thanks go to them for the opportunity of addressing you this evening. Three days from now, after half century in the service of our country, I shall lay down the responsibilities of office as, in traditional and solemn ceremony, the authority of the Presidency is vested in my successor. This evening, I come to you with a message of leave-taking and farewell, and to share a few final thoughts with
you, my countrymen.

Like every other -- Like every other citizen, I wish the new President, and all who will labor with him, Godspeed. I pray that the coming years will be blessed with peace and prosperity for all. Our people expect their President and the Congress to find essential agreement on issues of great moment, the wise resolution of which will better shape the future of the nation. My own relations with the Congress, which began on a remote and tenuous basis when, long ago, a member of the Senate appointed me to West Point, have since ranged to the intimate during the war and immediate post-war period, and finally to the mutually interdependent during these past eight years. In this final relationship, the Congress and the Administration have, on most vital issues, cooperated well, to serve the nation good, rather than mere partisanship, and so have assured that the business of the nation should go forward. So, my official relationship with the Congress ends in a feeling -- on my part -- of gratitude that we have been able to do so much together.

We now stand ten years past the midpoint of a century that has witnessed four major wars among great nations. Three of these involved our own country. Despite these holocausts, America is today the strongest, the most influential, and most productive nation in the world. Understandably proud of this pre-eminence, we yet realize that America's leadership and prestige depend, not merely upon our unmatched material progress, riches, and military strength, but on how we use our power in the interests of world peace and human betterment.

Throughout America's adventure in free government, our basic purposes have been to keep the peace, to foster progress in human achievement, and to enhance liberty, dignity, and integrity among peoples and among nations. To strive for less would be unworthy of a free and religious people. Any failure traceable to arrogance, or our lack of comprehension, or readiness to sacrifice would inflict upon us grievous hurt, both at home and abroad.

Progress toward these noble goals is persistently threatened by the conflict now engulfing the world. It commands our whole attention, absorbs our very beings. We face a hostile ideology global in scope, atheistic in character, ruthless in purpose, and insiduous [insidious] in method. Unhappily, the danger it poses promises to be of indefinite duration. To meet it successfully, there is called for, not so much the emotional and transitory sacrifices of crisis, but rather those which enable us to carry forward steadily, surely, and without complaint the burdens of a prolonged and complex struggle with liberty the stake. Only thus shall we remain, despite every provocation, on our charted course toward permanent peace and human betterment.

Crises there will continue to be. In meeting them, whether foreign or domestic, great or small, there is a recurring temptation to feel that some spectacular and costly action could become the miraculous solution to all current difficulties. A huge increase in newer elements of our defenses; development of unrealistic programs to cure every ill in agriculture; a dramatic expansion in basic and applied research -- these and many other possibilities, each possibly promising in itself, may be suggested as the only way to the road we wish to travel.

But each proposal must be weighed in the light of a broader consideration: the need to maintain balance in and among national programs, balance between the private and the public economy, balance between the cost and hoped for advantages, balance between the clearly necessary and the comfortably desirable, balance between our essential requirements as a nation and the duties imposed by the nation upon the individual, balance between actions of the moment and the national welfare of the future. Good judgment seeks balance and progress. Lack of it eventually finds imbalance and frustration. The record of many decades stands as proof that our people and their Government have, in the main, understood these truths and have responded to them well, in the face of threat and stress.

But threats, new in kind or degree, constantly arise. Of these, I mention two only. A vital element in keeping the peace is our military establishment. Our arms must be mighty, ready for instant action, so that no potential aggressor may be tempted to risk his own destruction. Our military organization today bears little relation to that known of any of my predecessors in peacetime, or, indeed, by the fighting men of World War II or Korea. Until the latest of our world conflicts, the United States had no armaments industry. American makers of plowshares could, with time and as required, make swords as well. But we can no longer risk emergency improvisation of national defense. We have been compelled to create a permanent armaments industry of vast proportions. Added to this, three and a half million men and women are directly engaged in the defense establishment. We annually spend on military security alone more than the net income of all United States cooperations -- corporations.

Now this conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every Statehouse, every office of the Federal Government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet, we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources, and livelihood are all involved. So is the very structure of our society.

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.

Akin to, and largely responsible for the sweeping changes in our industrial-military posture, has been the technological revolution during recent decades. In this revolution, research has become central; it also becomes more formalized, complex, and costly. A steadily increasing share is conducted for, by, or at the direction of, the Federal government.

Today, the solitary inventor, tinkering in his shop, has been overshadowed by task forces of scientists in laboratories and testing fields. In the same fashion, the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers. The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present -- and is gravely to be regarded.

Yet, in holding scientific research and discovery in respect, as we should, we must also be alert to the equal and opposite danger that public policy could itself become the captive of a scientific-technological elite.

It is the task of statesmanship to mold, to balance, and to integrate these and other forces, new and old, within the principles of our democratic system -- ever aiming toward the supreme goals of our free society.

Another factor in maintaining balance involves the element of time. As we peer into society's future, we -- you and I, and our government -- must avoid the impulse to live only for today, plundering for our own ease and convenience the precious resources of tomorrow. We cannot mortgage the material assets of our grandchildren without risking the loss also of their political and spiritual heritage. We want democracy to survive for all generations to come, not to become the insolvent phantom of tomorrow.

During the long lane of the history yet to be written, America knows that this world of ours, ever growing smaller, must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be, instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect. Such a confederation must be one of equals. The weakest must come to the conference table with the same confidence as do we, protected as we are by our moral, economic, and military strength. That table, though scarred by many fast frustrations -- past frustrations, cannot be abandoned for the certain agony of disarmament -- of the battlefield.

Disarmament, with mutual honor and confidence, is a continuing imperative. Together we must learn how to compose differences, not with arms, but with intellect and decent purpose. Because this need is so sharp and apparent, I confess that I lay down my official responsibilities in this field with a definite sense of disappointment.

As one who has witnessed the horror and the lingering sadness of war, as one who knows that another war could utterly destroy this civilization which has been so slowly and painfully built over thousands of years, I wish I could say tonight that a lasting peace is in sight.

Happily, I can say that war has been avoided. Steady progress toward our ultimate goal has been made. But so much remains to be done. As a private citizen, I shall never cease to do what little I can to help the world advance along that road.

So, in this, my last good night to you as your President, I thank you for the many opportunities you have given me for public service in war and in peace. I trust in that -- in that -- in that service you find some things worthy. As for the rest of it, I know you will find ways to improve performance in the future.

You and I, my fellow citizens, need to be strong in our faith that all nations, under God, will reach the goal of peace with justice. May we be ever unswerving in devotion to principle, confident but humble with power, diligent in pursuit of the Nations' great goals.

To all the peoples of the world, I once more give expression to America's prayerful and continuing aspiration: We pray that peoples of all faiths, all races, all nations, may have their great human needs satisfied; that those now denied opportunity shall come to enjoy it to the full; that all who yearn for freedom may experience its few spiritual blessings. Those who have freedom will understand, also, its heavy responsibility; that all who are insensitive to the needs of others will learn charity; and that the sources -- scourges of poverty, disease, and ignorance will be made [to] disappear from the earth; and that in the goodness of time, all peoples will come to live together in a peace guaranteed by the binding force of mutual respect and love.

Now, on Friday noon, I am to become a private citizen. I am proud to do so. I look
forward to it.

Thank you, and good night.

----Dwight D. Eisenhower; Farewell adress, 1961.



finally got the Moho out of my head.
chalking it up to harsh reality of the year's first battle with humidity.

"It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

No shit, ain't no dry heat 'round these parts, time to get used to it.

Getting used to it.
Thursday: Assault of 233 from the Furnace side, staying honest with a bit ot TT mindset.

Friday: Meeshow session w/ Churtle, she was intervaling, I was riding the climbs. Both got a good 2hr workout. Riding w/ purpose. Dip in the lake was refreshing and good for the legs.

Saturday: Delayed crack of noon start, coinciding nicely w/ the start of a NWS excessive heat watch. Cooking the 40:15 in the 90+; 233-B'ville-Whiskey Springs. Then a niiiiiice soak of the legs in the chilly LeTort. Noon to three ride window should finally have me adjusted. Honest work on all the climbs, even saw 190 on the gizmo while topping out on Whiskey, sweeet. Happy I didn't have to walk a step or two.

Sunday: Planned fun w/ the 'cakes, early start, cooling mtn stream nxt to the meeting spot, perfect.

Why the crack of noon start today? Besides the cog work, tinkering a bit with the garden. Makes me smile every time I walk by.
Will probably thin that one row of lettuce tonight, my first fresh salad!!!!


oh yeah.

the Mutant, if it happens as a group type thang......

It will be invitational only.

It will be singlespeeds only.

don't like it?
that's too bad, put together your own damn ride.



well, apparantly that oh so accurate map of the Mutant has piqued some interest....here's the dillyo.

First attempt: Thought about a Classique style approach, but decided that I'm doing it solo, cuz that's the best scenario for me. Figure to be rolling pre dawn to catch the sunrise up on Piney, then taking the day as it comes. Gonna leave myself a drop of supplies out there on the route, bit of food, water and a cold beer or two, plus a light I guess. Shakedown the route and get a feel for the exact timeframe. Right now, estimating 14-15hours elapsed. Last year's Classique ride was 65 and is close to the layout, but without the southern portion. That one was 11hours, add on 3-4 for the extra 35ish and it's a big day.

Now, if things go well, there is an open slot in the sched mid August. If the programme works out, and this thing is feasable, thinking about a second assault with company along at that time.

In bike news, thanks to Chris, I found a fork for Rocinante. Hopefully there'll be a box from Soma on my doorstep by mid next week. Love riding the Kellogg, but that frame is soft and kinda whippy when pushed past 30. There's a price to pay for that smooth compliant ride, she lacks a bit of confidence when things begin to appraoch the sketchy zone. So I doubt it's a good choice for the fireroad demands of le Tour. Need to sort out what drivetrain I'm gonna run though, not racing it fixed this year.....maybe a barend shifter and set up a 1x9/8 for a week or two.....or find a 56-57cm top tubed roadie to borrow. Anyone?


learned things

riding a fix is awesome.

racing a fix will crush your soul.

I am done with Heed.

The Jabber still rocks, so comfy that
35+ no foot coasting is, uhmm....easy?

Ohio actually has miles and miles of ripping singletrack.

It takes me more than 1 week to acclimate
to 75+ temps with any humidity at all mixed in.

Aide station workers don't know shit about the
course. Don't ever believe a word they say.

I will break 9 hours, or it will break me.
Two more chances, and they will be done
with a Tour in my legs. Missing ingredient?

It's frustrating to rail for 3-4hours with
the crowd you know you can hang with.
To ride in contention, and watch it all fall
apart, time after time, is frustrating.

To know that your choices are
what limits you, equally so.

Insanity: Repeating the same thing and
expecting different results.

god damn windmills.

next hurdle:

Proprietary Image removed for secrecy,
cuz I'm a dick.


that damn word and that stupid punctuation:


crushed on the roadie start, make some moves
on the opening KOM roller. slot in with the leading ladies,
working thru traffic on the trail, making moves staying
shmoove. AWD fixy working the dual drifting peanut
butter and rooty turns like Jedi ninja magic, this is what
it's all about. Tempo chasing and finally familiar jerseys
and faces. Hook onto Rich's wheel and find a sweet groove
as he shakes off the prior evening, slowly winding it up.
We catch onto Cheryl & Huber. Good company to keep
for the 9 hour quest. Two hours in, Rich and Huber are gone,
maximizing their coastiness. Blow past CP1 w/ Doug,
sounds like we're both on the dock looking at the same boat.

Inventory taken, twingy tight legs do not excite me,
warning lights flashing. Settle in with a quick trailside break,
get some tunes in the head, Betsie goes by, then out of the
woods heading to CP2. Roadkill on top of that steep gravel
roller is oddly symbolic.

Blow past CP2 and hear, "Hey, that guy's not stopping....."


whatever, 100oz bladder & 2 bottles of Heed can take me to CP3
nonstop at mile 40 couple. more awesome trail, watching the clock,
still chasing the dragon, but the bastard is putting up a fight.
Teased by the sighting of CP3 thru the trees before looping back
into the woods. Damn, sooo close, that was rude. Finally into a
field and to the fuel stop. Still on track, 4:20ish to CP3.
Slim beta has me thinking that the back half of this race
will roll quicker than the trail intensive first half. 9hrs still there.
Shortly past CP3, things go pear shaped.

Heat flash or bonk or something hits me in the woods,
kick it back to regroup, then need to kick it back further, fuck.
Accept reality, it's gonna get ugly. concentrated efforts result
in stomach queasiness. Onto some easier road portions,
perfecting the super sketch feet on fork crown dirt road 'coasting'.
Max speed: 35.8mph.

Get passed and immediately dropped by Cheryl, Michelle and Trish.
Barely able to break 140's on the HR gizmo, long way from the
targeted 'climbing race pace'. Then only seeing 130, then 120's.
6hours elapsed and I hate myself as I make the turn onto that
rail trail from hell. 1 to 1.5 blurry mindfuck hours of either 11.3
or 13.4mph fixed gear purgatory, depending on whether it's
up or down slope. No man's land slumtown, haven't been passed,
haven't caught nor seen anybody in an hour.....am I still on course?

I should take a nap, I should just curl up and die.

hour 7+ or something, roll into CP4. Dump the bottles of stomach
turning Heed & refill w/ insurance portions of pure water.
Get course beta, "All road or dirt road from here to #5"

5 minutes later I'm turning onto a road
with a sign that reads: "No Outlet"

Fucking liar.

Haven't had to battle these thoughts of quitting
in a long, long time. But this is beyond what I bargained for.
Can barely hold the engine revs at 120. Any hill and I'm hiking.
any. hill. Into CP5 at around 9.5hours. Finally drink a Pepsi, eat a
couple pretzels. DougyFresh catches back up and keeps
me company for the remainder. Kept telling him to leave me
for dead, but he was happy to share in the slum, thanks man.
No angelic beer handups found thru the campground after that
creek side trail, a fella can dream.

Encouraging words from passersby:

"You can do it!"

"Fuck you lady!" screams the voice in my head.

dam breast hike a bike....just another kick in the teeth.

Then walking up that paved climb, the ultimate sign of
defeat for the shattered bike racer. Lay it down in a turn
200yds from the finish, first crash of the day, at mile 99.995,
seems fitting. Stand back up, roll it in for the finish,
curl up in a ball and whimper.

Sometimes I really hate this fucking game.