finally

why does this feel a bit anticlimatic?

how is it that I'm sooooo tranquilo right now?



why am I not chasing down last minute bits for the bikes, fretting over this and that and whether or not I'm ready. Is it all really turning into old hat? Or am I actually somewhat prepared this time round?

actually, I guess I am kinda anxious to get it on. The great mystery at this point is how well will I hang on the road stages? I'm confident for the mtn, figuring that I should be able to gain enough elsewhere that the time losses on the faaahhhhhhhst downhills won't be enough to drop me into DFL range. Guess we'll know for real after Boyscout at about 6pm tomorrow.

The big gnawing anxiety concerns the two road stages. Cuz I'm a fearin' the inability to hang on parade pace over rolling terrain. I' not sure if I've got enough in the tank for a bunch of downhill sprints at 30+ as everybody freewheels along. Rolling against gravity I should be fine, but over repeated or long sections where ya'll look to tuck it, those are the slummingest of slumtown times for me. And Tuesday, GOOD LORD! If I survive that fucker....holy shit. 100miles, 12k of climbing, 2pm start time. That leaves 7hours of daylight, 7.5 ridable-ish without lights.....fuck me.

But I can do this. I'm rested, I've shown good form recently without dipping too deep into the well. Recently the legs have been touch and go, but I've purposely not dug too deep at all since the BSRR. Letting the beast take a bit of a nap. Roused him a bit during last night's quick ride though, clunky at the start, then found good sensations while toying with tailwind assisted spinning. Looked at the cyclocomputer after the ride, the odo read 1800+. So looks like I'll turn over two grand towards the end of Tuesday's ride. Could be a reason to celebrate or something.

First I gotta get thru FridaySaturdaySundayMonday.

neat.

hope everybody has a good holidaze.
Good luck to those foolz going to Canada & the local scene in their endeavors.

Maybe if my legs agree and Salsa comes thru as expected, I'll see some of ya'll up in Thorpe.....

peace out.
(I hope to be out of contact until the 5th.)

addendum: Interesting that this year, I'm most excited about seeing/hanging with distant members of the clan, those friends that you, unfortunately, only really see a couple times a year....Fooftowners, Bo y' es, IF Chick, The Gun Show, NC homeys, Bulldogs from Jersey.

But, no Jake?!?! christ, he's probably shopping for aprons right now, fucking Suzy homemaker, can't even swing a single fucking stage. Talk about being even more whipped than Bender, shit, times they are a changin'. Surprised the Beemer gocart hasn't been traded for a Volvo by now, lord knows he never fucking drives it for more than 2hours at a time......what a pussy.

soon

The ramp up/down/whatever is in full effect. I see via the nitraweb that the 'Burgians have thrown down huge to set the stage for le Grande Boucle. Thanks so much everybody!

Pace has been hectic recently, learned some things. My incredihuge fixed gear power makes frames quake in my presence.

No matter how tasty looking, don't grab the clam right out of the coals.


Rides like this put a smile on my face. Those spikes are 233-B'ville-Cold Spring-King's Gap, 50 fun miles.



It's coming, can you feel it?

5 sessions on the 32:16
2 on the 40:15

Are you skeered?

I am,
but confidently so,
know what I mean?

Peak a Boooo

The mental game, games of your mind. How do you quiet the voices? These are the days where rest does more good than work & training. Or so I've read. I want to be strong, need to be strong in order to survive. Will I really get stronger with my feet up, slurping on a brewski watching mindless TV drivel? Is this really how it works?

Have I already hit a peak, or only tasted it briefly? Does the form all go downhill from here, or am I getting ready to bounce? Does it matter? Will the view of the big picture change? Played with my form and got it right for the Stoopid. Had an awesome day out there, worked it hard, but didn't feel like it. That's how good days go, just pedalpedalpedal like you're floating on a tailwind all day long. Stormy weather kept me off the bike during the week, emphasizing the importance of active recovery. Friday's tune up spin before the BSRR revealed lots of tender tightness that should've alredy been dealt with.

Still, not wanting to miss the opportunity, I pile on more miles via the BSRR over the wknd. Not because I needed to, but because I could. I'm on somewhat good form, I like to take advantage of these moments. If not now, then when? Set aside the day to roll two wheels under the sun, where the goal is to just 'get out there.' See new sights from the saddle of a bike, look inward as well as out, take a loooong lunch break. Sunday group mtn thang saw me bail early, opting for 3hrs instead of 6. The motor wasn't revving, the legs were flat and empty, sensations were dull and uninspiring. Concerns are raised, only did 85 the day before, only 6200 feet of climbing......is this how I'll feel at le Tour? fuck.

Monday morn, awaken feeling.....recovered? Legs are loose and feeling......fresh? Interesting, this sensation of being rested and somewhat recovered. Almost out for a spin, but mentally still want/need a break. No mood to ride because I have to, forcing the issue does no good, junk miles add no benefit. I want to want to ride. Tuesday, yesterday, getting anxious to spin pedals, the appetite is coming back. Qwik trip for groceries after work, hope for a light spin once the shopping is done, radar shows mean red splotches moving our way. Out the door of the store and big rumble rumbles are coming, rain begins as I unload the car at home. Skunked again, but at least a beautiful gnarly lightning show over town, I love spectating thunderstorms.

But not from the bike, hopefully tonight I'll finally get my spin on again. Then we'll tease the monster thru the wknd and ramp this shit back up. The fixed gear fury is coming, crunch time approaches. Only another week and a half of this rest vs work tightrope dance.

here we go

ouch.



Tomi's Big Stupid Road Ride '07 is in the books. It turned out to be the 'shortest' BSRR to date, but the lack of mileage didn't detract from the day. Climbed some fireroad that I didn't think I'd be able to, the downhill sides were painfully tedious slowness. New ways to suffer were discovered. On the gnarliest climbs, I only walked once for about 6-8 steps, enough to see that I was better off to pedal along at 4.6mph than to walk at 3.4, good sensations. Time to rest, for real, might even start stretching.....I'll let the pictures do the talking from here.....

Familiar red barn.

Break time flowers.
Into the Gap.
Fireroad love.
Qwik view on the climb.
Beer break #1 at 2hrs.Where we've been.

Sweet ride, $40.No tunnels, only one way out.Up we go again.5.4mph, 176bpm. Horse Valley Tranquillo.
4:20 elapsed, beer break #2.
Lunch stop yard sale.
Rt 850 Big Sky rolliin'.

Onward Soldier.
Top of Wagg's looking home, downhill from here.
Post ride yard sale.

tomorrow

wow, little bit of down time makes the mind wander, or focus on other things I guess. been missing Hux noticeably the last couple days, she visited briefly in a dream the other night, looked good. realized that I haven't seen her for awhile, revisiting some things, couple of tough moments.


also noticed that I'm at the point where le Tour is a done deal....in that I'm actually beginning to look past the event. only two weeks out, almost exactly as I type this, but I'm starting to think about the 101 and then semi finalizing what else to do in August before the hundo. I'm about as ready as I can get, and boy, I remember back around early december. when I hatched the possibility of fixin' the Tour in my head and thought, that's way way way out there, so far away.

so, here we are today, and now that seems like a long long long time ago, I guess we're about as far from Thanksgiving/december as we can get. I'm preping for tomorrow's final exam, will probably be figuring out how comfortable my road shoes are for hiking up fireroads and learning other new and interesting things. the Big Stupid Road Ride '07 solo edition, is heading into uncharted but familiar territory. i've always wanted to ride the Laurel Creek fireroad, will get my chance tomorrow....


gotta go spin, peace.

friends in high places.....

can make you famous!

got a good laugh out of this:
Stoopid 50 report.

Thanks again Chris,
and props to NMBA and the Wheelworks crew.

the fun has just begun.
BSRR'07 looks like a solo effort,
will be good day of fireroad climbing.

letter of intent to the Directour Carpong today.

game on.

animal kingdom

I like where I live. I like my town, I like my neighborhood. Carlisle is just big enough to have a handful of decent restaurants, nice little 'downtown' area with assorted shopping options and bars with very nice beer selections, all within 3 blocks of my door. My neighborhood seems quiet for being 'in town.' I can sleep with windows open and drift into dreamworld with a cricket serenade, then wake up to chirping birds in the morning. No overbearing big city sounds of loud traffic and horns and hustle and bustle to disrupt the natural soundtrack.

I'm sometimes surprised by the wildlife I see around my place. I've had possums try to set up house in my basement on a couple occasions, a skunk or two in the backyard at 4am and bats flying in thru a door left open. Huxley had her friends the squirrels to chase along the fence and the neighbor's trees all give homes to a vibrant collection birds.

Sunday I get home from the Stoopid and start unloading the car. I see a momma robin in the alley, her hackles are up and she's squawking a storm. Then I see her little baby birdy along the neighbor's fence. Momma rushes at me, protecting her youngster, which I'm assuming fell from the nest or something. I tell her I'm no threat and go about the reverse gear shuffle. Next trip out the to car and I spot some shadowy fast movement up in the trees. Out in the alley, momma is still raising a ruckus and then I see the culprit, a big old crow standing there. Put two and two together and figure that the crow must be looking for an easy dinner. I'm quickly mesmerized and lean quietly against the car to see what's gonna happen. I don't see the baby birdy anywhere now, just the crow and the robin having a bit of a standoff in the alley.

Then I notice something that I've never really seen before. There's a handful of birds hanging out and watching. I guess the distress call went out and I count another two or three robins, couple small finches and a blue jay. They all seem to be there to back up mama robin, none seem too friendly towards the crow. Lots of squawking and posturing, the standoff continues. The robin's crew are all hanging out on a wire over the alley, keeping an eye on things and offering words of encouragement.

The back-n-forth goes on, and then suddenly the little baby birdy appears. Unable to hide any longer, it's flushed from some tall grass and plops out onto the alleyway. Little bird is obviously not at 100%, can't fly, maybe still too young, and has a gimpyness to it. With baby exposed momma does her best to fend off the crow, who, at about 8 times the robin's size, has an obvious advantage. Mrs. Robin tries to corral her youngster and distract the crow, but eventually that big old bird crow throws in a bit of a head fake and gets a hold of the baby bird. A shake and a twist and the crow is airborne, trying to make an escape but is harassed mightily by mom and her friends. The crow drops the baby from about 15 feet back down onto the tarmac. The baby birdy doesn't move.

Crow flies around and comes back, mom is back on the defense, hasn't really checked on her youngin', still putting up a fight. She's fending off the crow, the other birds are still cheering her on and then the blue jay drops down from the wire and rushes the crow. Crow doesn't flinch much and back to the bleachers goes the jay. I pull myself away from the scene, do another lap of gear and on the trip back out the crow goes whisking by with a robin hot on it's tail. I look up the alley, and the puffy little pile of feathers is still there where it had landed previously. The other birds are around, but not quite with the same intense interest, things were winding down.

Monday morning, the alley was clear, not a trace.

It was an amazing scene to observe, Mother Nature doing her thing in my alley. I thought about intervening, try to chase off the big bad scary crow, save the little baby birdy, save momma the heartache of loss. Do a good deed. But would it have been a good deed? Who am I to take sides in this conflict? Did the crow also have mouths to feed? This is the life process at work, survival of the fittest and all that. An interesting way to finish up the wknd.

qwik one

Since I'm loggerd in, messing with the pics from last post.....

Stoopid Fitty was an awesome time. Tailormade course for the fixed wheel. Only two 'bad' sections....long portion of grassy single/doubletrack track false flat spin out from hjell, and a similar section along a deer fence. Everything else was money. Climbs, just not quite too steep, mostly all rollable. And the singletrack was hours and hours of flowing jedi fixy mind trix. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect scenario.

Kept the tires rollin' most all day, two turbo safety checks and had to throw a tube into the front wheel when Stan's couldn't quite do the trick. So, only about 5-10minutes of unplanned 'off' time, countered that with trying to be efficient at the aid spots. Otherwise, rode within myself most all of the day, stayed out of the red with my head in the game seeing the big picture and not the immediate battle. Just keep turning over the pedals. Got really close to cramping really bad, walked that fine line for a few hours, managed to keep it all in check.

Of the Cupacke Camp, I was el lantern rouge, turning in a 5:25ish, unofficially 30th spot, 9th single (10th if you count the old man.) Almost caught Travisimo but the late flat tire fixin' settled that question, not enough realestate left. Bucky rolled fourth in the singles, Keeferkeefer back on the fat tires for 8thish overall, old man Withers stomped the Masters along with the majority of us young guys and I didn't see much of SuperPete after the post hike a bike descent, he had that Yeti rollin'....

good times
good times.

moods

chasing ghosts

hmmmm, feelin' kinda beat down & tired. been doing a lot of work, both at work (shocking!, I know) and on the bike, would need to dig deep into the log to find a week that tallied less than 10hrs of saddle time. But, I've got that fucking monkey on my back, and that sum bitch ain't leavin' until I kick him to the curb come first week of July.

so, yeah, hellz yeah, I'm all in. fuck it. if not now, then when? if not me, then who? Mac Boy'es speaks a wise wise word, sage advice. I was the stupid fucker who said it out loud to the world back in January. Time the walk the walk and back up the talk. No resting on flimsy bullshit laurels, you're only as good as your last race. Time to head into uncharted territory (but not really if you look back to the turn of the century, those dudes were BAD ASS!, I'm just chasing ghosts). Get my head straight, break down the task into managable chunks, and get the job done. I'm scared as hell, but I know that I can do this, I know that I can do this. It's been done, just not recently, what's old is new again......

Some of ya'll may wonder 'why?' Why would this bloke wanna ride a fixed wheel bicycle thru five soul crushing stages plus a prologue? why why why? Why not just chase yet another insignificant GC spot....

been there, done that.

What I know is this. A few years back I got bored with roundyround lappity lap 'XC racing.' This coincided with the emergence of 'endurance' events; hundies, XXC's & Monsters and my baptism by fire into the Grand Tour scene. Had some 'success,' then last year saw another run at 24hr racing with a duo throwdown at Big Bear. Never ever thought I could suffer that bad and survive; props to super teammate Jake and Eric & Barry for the support. Then that damn birdy on the shoulder; at le Tour, fucking Joel says, "Let's all fix the Hundie, party pace, make it a big fun day."

So, after le Tour, I fixed my ss. Got the opportunity to race the 101 instead of volunteering, and I figured, what the hell, I'll fix it, how bad could it be? My fourth ever ride on a fixed wheel in my life was the 101. I never did write a 'race report.' I never will. I came face to face with some internal darkness and dug out a whole new level in the proverbial pain cave. Some things are best left unsaid.

But, the one simple epiphany that struck home unlike any other during that loooong day, was finally admitting to myself:

I'm not normal.

I have issues.

And now I say FUCK IT!

I don't care if I wreck my season, I don't care if I have to fucking walk my bike up every fucking climb after stage 3 or get dropped and slum solo on the road stages. I just don't fucking care.


I'm gonna finish this thing & see it thru, one way or the other.


I wasn't out there in 30mph, 20deg winds this winter to throw in the towel 3 weeks out. My shoulder didn't look like this because I'm a fucking quitter:
I didn't roll out in 37deg rain and wind for the umpteenth time to pull up short now. I didn't just puke my guts out on Whetstone at il Giro to not make the attempt. I haven't scared myself shitless on practically every single fixed mtn ride to not make a run at it.

I'm gonna start this fucking thing on a fixed wheel, and I'm gonna finish it on a fucking fixed wheel. And I'm not gonna be DFL, I refuse to lose. Or I'll go home in tears.

And if you don't think I can do it,

then this is about all I have left to say about that:

ps: this post got sidetracked a bit, was gonna be a bunch of groovey pics, ya'll will have to wait for those......

man with a plan

Those of you with extensive literary knowledge will easily figure out what this means/implies.

Rode a quick 'hot lap' around the Curse beginner loop tonight, plus an o&b on the Beav. Worked 'race pace' across Abby, trying to awaken the ninja. Still a bit groggy yet, but once he finds his coffee, look out! We'll poke him with a stick or two again on Thursday to make sure all is ready for the wknd. Delusional goal is still intact, despite the stacked field. Ideally, top 5 in the single dingles, top 10 attainable, less than mid pack......well, let's hope something went wrong if that's the case.

Looks like a Mid-A mtn bike blogger confluence is in the works. How can I not camp out Saturday and miss the social fun? Comfortable bed be damned.

peace out.

yeah.

decent trailwork session on Saturday, got done what was needed.


3.5 hours rolling the mtn fixy today, 2 Cinnamon Pop Tarts + 2 gels = not quite enough to hit some of my favortie trails in Northern Meeshow. Slummin' across Community Service was good for the soul, just makes the beer taste better. Not dieing after the high speed log-pedal infraction was even sweeter, I'm here for your entertainment. Started to nudge the ninja from his slumber.

Laurel is bangin'. Loam was sticky. twas a good day, count it.

sayings

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

---Sydney J. Harris