9/30/09

the gods have spoken.

Shimano, go fuck yourselves.

Three week ago, I bought an Alfine 8speed internal hub with high hopes of bikepacking with multiple pedaling ratios. Something that runs a clean chainline without easy to rip off shifty bits, for when the path is one that is less travelled. My local shop ordered the hub direct from you assholes. You motherfuckers didn't have the sense to tell the shop that when ordering the hub, that's all you get, the hub. That's it, nothing else, just the plain, bare bones hub. I knew the cog was extra, I knew I'd need the shifter, I had them order those parts also. The shop & I figured that you would at least include the fucking axle nuts with the hub, you know, those shiny threaded objects that hold the hub in the frame. I also figured that you would include the cable hanger part with the hub, since you know, IT'S FUCKING SPECIFIC TO THIS GODDAMN HUB! I don't just happen to have these parts laying around, these aren't common parts for the local shop to have on the shelf. Why the fuck don't you just include everything with the fucking hub???

assholes.

So, the shop ordered the sold separately parts kit. This kit supposedly comes with all of the bits to make this fucking thing work. That was the impression the shop was left with, it's the impression I had. Except it doesn't. After I got home from yet another two hour round trip to pick up the little box that was filled with even more little baggies of misc parts, I discover that you assholes don't include the fucking snap ring to hold the cog in place on the hub. So, I have to go thru even more back n forth bullshit of trying to track down a 5 cent snap ring that fucking retails for $2. I was told that when the shop put in the order for the small parts, that your fucking ignorant mother fucking order taker was apologetic, "Oh, I shoulda pointed out that you'd need those parts...."

yeah, no shit moron.

And it gets better. After tracking down the missing snap ring, which required another trip to yet another shop, and after installing the cog tonight, I was in a decent mood. Progress, seeing the proverbial lighted tunnel. I roll the bike down the stairs, throw it in the stand, pull out the ss wheel and lean it against the bench for what I assume will be a while, I'm gonna be riding gears! I work thru the instructions for the hub, I line up the red dots, I line up the yellow dots, the hanger is in place, the cog is flipped to match my chainline after cutting off that ghey fucking chain guard. I take off the grip, slide off the brake lever, install the shifter on the bars. Everything is peachy and going smooth, even looks like the housing is a decent enough length, probably won't have to trim it. Measure the 101mm length from the cable to the housing end, rough in the cable run and read and reread the instructions. 60 degrees, cable slack, catch the nut in the slotted hole, slip the cable thru the slot of the hanger, let the housing nestle into place.

But wait, why doesn't this look right? Why doesn't the stop on the hanger actually stop the housing, it's wayyyyyyy oversized. Read and reread the instructions again, says nothing about having to crimp the stop, nothing about having to form it by hand so that it does its stopping thing. Even if I do smash it, there's no lip to catch the end of the housing...again, WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! Look at the instructions yet again, gotta be missing something, 'Take cable hanger, er I mean, the Cassette Joint CJ-8S20..." CJ-8S20? hmmmm, is that what I'm working with here? Can't quite see the stamping in this light, drop the wheel out of the frame...

CJ-8S40

GODDAMNITYOUFUCKINGIGNORANTMOTHERFUCKINGASSHOLES!!!!

I've been thru too much bullshit with this already, and now it turns out you sold the wrong fucking parts to the shop for the hub. Your retarded asshole of an order taker apparently doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, cuz he sold the wrong fucking parts to the shop for this hub. What kind of show are you assholes running? That your douchebag mouthbreather on the other end of the phone can't even punch up the right numbers in his little computer to ensure that I'm not getting dicked around even more? I mean, how fucking hard is it? I shouldn't have to double check every little part to make sure ya'll are doing your job, you assholes should get it right, you fucking make this shit! We are ordering it direct! You are the fucking experts, you should know to ask that when the shop orders this hub, do you have all these little tidbits? Well, here's what you'll need....

And when you sell the shop the parts that they & I will need to make this thing work, they better god damn well be the RIGHT FUCKING PARTS!!! This isn't rocket science.

so,

FUCK YOU SHIMANO!


Tomi's geared experiment is now officially on hold until warmer weather arrives, who knows, there might be a freshly built, never ridden, internally geared wheel going up sale...

and again, FUCK YOU SHIMANO!

15 comments:

swithers said...

wow!!! that was even a better rant than I got on the phone on Sat prior to this latest parts debacle....glad I didn't call tonight.

the almighty S gear gods have spoken, and thou shall be exiled to ride one gear for eternity.

The Evil MGE! said...

Great rant and while I like supporting the local shop, sometimes you gotta go with those that know.

Your CJ8S40 cassette joint is designed to keep your cable protected from the elements such as mud and ice.

It will work on your Shimano Alfine hub.

It should of came with a unit that consisted of a rubber bellows,outer cable casing holder and a rubber cover for the outer cable casing holder.

If you didn't get the instructions with the CJ8S40 cassette joint then check here: http://www.birota.ru/manuals/shimano/allinone/74Y0A_EN.PDF

If you still can't figure it out...shoot me an email at goatshell at hotmail.com with your phone number and I'll give you a call and work you through it.

Tomi said...

yeah, I found all that documentation after I ran the p/n thru the Google....and no, the little rubber doohickies were not included, anywhere...I'm fucking done with it, if it's this much trouble to just get it rolling...

mattchew said...

almost makes 2k for a rohloff seem reasonable...

camps said...

I love seeing focused rage.

Big Bikes said...

I often have to call Shimano regarding various crap. I'm always astonished that you're dealing with the largest, most heartless, multinational bicycle parts manufacturer, but who do you get on the phone? - a stoned kid who's dumb as a sack of hammers.

Nice rant, I like it.

-t

Skippy said...

So this means #5 from your "This one goes to 11" post is now simply "check."

Metro said...

Fucking aye, great to hear the truth spoken from another. I hate Shimano and their shitty customer service. It made me switch to SRAM & it just so happens I like the parts better as well. I’d say when the warm weather hits, locktite all that shit together and take the new “Shimano Centerlock Specific” Tomicog with you for when shit hits the fan. FUCK trying to repair that in the field on a multi day trip. Oh and this years model will be obsolete next year and sourcing parts will be “obtainable” for 2-3 years.

But Ski season is on the horizon.

rousseau said...

The words simply Rohloff the tongue....nicely done. There is really only the one true internal hub.

Eric said...

that was great.
it's something similar to what I feel like doing to a different "S" company right now.

Anonymous said...

Tom,

I think you are on to something with your internal hub. However, I am going to let you refine the design and conduct field testing before I set one up. At the very least, I know it will be pretty entertaining.

Jake

El Serracho! said...

spot on rant, but the comments are a bit off. shimano is not heartless - it is clueless about who its customers are and what they want. they do have stoned kids working the customer service phones here in north america though.

the flip side is that this rant is fairly typical of the feedback they get. if i worked in service there, i tell you to fuck right off too.

Big Red 67 said...

Spend the money and get a rohloff speedhub.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

bueno, Tomi!

Tack said...

Fuck Shimano. I have been going through something similar with a Nexus 7. The BIGGEST PIECE of SHIT I've ever encountered. This thing just wasted four hours of my precious time, but I don't even care about that. It's been a CONSTANT FUCKING STRUGGLE for over six fucking years. In that time, I've managed to waste over $700 fucking dollars, and I've only been able to log about a total of 45 miles on this PIECE OF SHIT. I won't bore you with the details, but I just spent more money on this faggoty hub (broken shifter, so I bought a new one) and what should have been a two minute adjustment, turned into this fucking ass fuck disintegrating in my hands. FUCK YOU SHIMANO- I will NEVER buy anything with your name on it - I will NEVER ride with even one of your fucking shit parts on my bike, EVER. FUCK YOU IN YOUR stupid faggot ass drive train hole. FUCK YOU. I HATE you. So much. FUCK. SHIMANO SUCKS ASS.