1/25/17

back talk

today I 'back talked' the boss, 

"Don't tell me what I said."

Well, then don't fucking tell me what I did was wrong when it's you who told me to do so...he hung up on me.

Phone got thrown, desk almost got flipped, literally, but it's a heavy sum bitch....so it only ended up a-kilter on a collapsed leg after a push and a kick....find somebody else to fucking program and design on your fucking antiques...err, I mean, 'legacy equipment.'

I need a change, I fear, before I really snap....fuck.

Also, 4:15 appointment to get the tooth stitches out, sat in a chair until all about 6pm. Best healthcare in the world, right?

1/24/17

finding feet

this is a good article, trying to take it to heart:

https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

Been trying to be a leader, thru compromise and trying to be 'liked'.
In order to keep order and just 'get things done.'

And what's actually gotten done during my time?

At this point, I can either throw in the towel and just fucking walk away.

Or.

I can take heed, not give one flying fuck about the petty bullshit, demonstrate I don't give fucks about petty bullshit and bang on thru with what I think is right, with what I think needs done and just fucking fight for what I think is right.

Show some fucking balls and start leading by example.

"I'm willing to put my neck on the line for this, are you?"


If the cause is just, maybe they'll follow....or not.

I can always just walk away, not like the pay is all that great.